I Know, I Know!!!

Edited to remove utter incoherence.

I really had no business doing it. I have vowed to fit back into my 3-months-not-pregnant-enough-for-maternity-clothes-yet jeans (yes, it's that bad folks). I even have been getting up at 6:25 am to Nordic Track* 3 days a week to discourage the seams of aforementioned jeans from imprinting themselves to a depth of 1/4 inch into my orange peel flesh. I gave up wine for almost an entire two weeks. I mean business, people.

* That's the verb tense of Nordic Track n. the apparatus. Nordic Track v.to use the apparatus as designed to obtain physical fitness. Nordic Track adj. as in "I hung your laundry on the Nordic Track hanger."

It's not really my fault (well, yes, it is) that the hollow milk chocolate bunny made by Nirvana Chocolates, purchased for an exhorbitant price at Whole Foods, and destined for Jujube's Easter basket leaped off the top of the refrigerator last night and broke into several large pieces. It was too wrecked to pass off as a treat from The Easter Bunny and I am fresh out of chocolate glue. There was nothing for it. It had to be eaten. Last night. All of it. In one bliss-filled, face-stuffing, finger-smearing sitting while Jujube received her nightly ablutions from Daddy, and Mommy enjoyed her daily 30 minutes of solitude.

Did I then or do I now feel the slightest twinge of guilt? No freakin' way, Dent squad. That's why God made paid employment. I can just go buy me another one. Erm, I mean, buy her another one. Mmm... yum... smack, smack.