Confessions Of A Lazy Knitter

Friends, I may love to knit but I... I... (hiccup, sob) I'm just not that good at it! The Felted Grab Bag is done. It is being redubbed The Frigging Crap Bag. It looks like hell. Somehow I thought the felting process would magically fix the fact that the bag is not deep enough and the handle is too long. OK, OK, truth be told I did NOT use the yarn specified in the pattern. All right, yes, neither did I felt my swatch, as instructed, to test that whole process. Yeah, yeah, I stopped knitting the bag part even though I had a whole 2 skeins left and my instinct was screaming at me like the shrew she is, "Keep knitting. Keep knitting, you moron!!!" But I was getting bored and, after all, it's just a bag. Big whoop. It'll all work out just fine in the end. After all, I am an experienced knitter. The yarn and my washing machine must surely know this and respond accordingly.

Oh! how the mighty ego falleth. Five-point-one on the Richter scale. Did your dishes rattle? That was my pride you heard shattering. It's OK, friends. I've swept up the biggest pieces. Think I'll carry them around in the Frigging Crap Bag where they can whack my knees while I walk; a crafter's version of the Hair Shirt. "Ego indignus! Ego indignus!"

Maybe I should just stick with reading for a while. Yeah, that's the best idea for the sort of person who's too lazy to felt swatches like she shou... Ooo! Look what's in the new VK Winter 2007. I've simply GOTTA try one of Meg Swansen's Scandinavian Two-End Knitting caps. Well, whaddaya know? Here's a skein and a half of celery green Donegal Tweed. That would make a pretty cap. It would match my frigging crappy bag! I'll just use these here dpns poking through the three UFOs composting in my knitting basket. They look about the right size for this weight yarn. It'll all work out just fine. After all, I am an ...

Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee the Latin quotation shown above actually translates to "I'm not worthy" since my knowledge of the classic language has been obtained in the usual modern way: by singing Masses in choruses, by watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and by searching for "Latin - English dictionary" on Google.